The First Steps to Intentional Living
My first exposure to intentional living was during my downsizing and tiny house adventure. I fell in love with the philosophy that our possessions should have a purpose in our lives. When you live in 234 square feet you have to be intentional about what you bring into your space.
I was also drawn to the idea that we should focus on creating a life that reflects our values and beliefs.
The good news is you don’t have to live in a tiny house to live an intentional life, something my husband is certainly excited about!
Living an intentional life just requires you to make conscious and deliberate choices about how you want to show up each day. It’s taking the time to get clear on what’s important to you and then living out those values.
Intentional living is tied to purposeful living for me. It’s about making decisions about how I spend my time and money and where I focus my energy each day.
So how do you figure out if you are living an intentional life? Easy, you start asking some tough questions.
I find it’s easiest to tie intentional living to our core values. For most of us our core values fall into the main categories I have listed below.
Faith
Family (spouse, parents, siblings, etc)
Relationships (friends, mentors, & community)
Finances
Health (physical & mental)
Career or Calling
Fun! Because after 2020, we all need some fun in our lives!
You may have slightly different areas you focus on in your life, but I find for most of my clients, these categories get the ball rolling when we start talking about their vision for the future and how they want to live more deliberately.
Rate these items on a scale of 1-10
Start by rating where you are in each of these critical domains. A one means you aren’t that excited about where you are, while a 10 means you are living the dream! It’s possible that not all of these domains will apply to you, but most probably will.
Don’t get discouraged if your numbers aren’t quite where you want them to be. It’s pretty normal for us to have high numbers in some domains and lower numbers in other domains, even areas that we might think are important, but just haven’t put too much effort into recently.
For instance, I’m an 8 in my financial domain right now. We are doing well for our long-term goals, we don’t have debt, and we have a cushion for a rainy day. Is there still progress to be made, sure, but this isn’t a critical focus area for me right now. That’s partly because I focused on this domain heavily when I was younger and took lots of intentional action in this domain.
However, I’m a 4 on my social domain (up from a 1 when I first started really thinking about this area of my life!). I have a few good friends, but until recently I hadn’t made social connections a priority. As an introvert, I hadn’t always prioritized relationships outside of my family, but as I’ve gotten older, I’m realizing a solid core of friends is part of being healthy and content. So now I’m trying to be more deliberate in this space.
I like this simple exercise because it helps us focus on the domains that might needs some extra work. Simply stopping to think about each of these areas allows us to see where there might be some room for improvement.
Decide what’s important NOW
Remember you can’t Do EVERYTHING! I know it’s a huge disappointment, but the lie that has been sold regarding perfect life balance is crap…yep, that’s how I really feel.
There will be times in our lives that we need to focus on one or two of the domains more than the others.
When our kids are young and our careers are busy, relationships outside of the family, and dedicated hours of fun might not be the highest priority. It doesn’t mean we can’t still be intentional about adding more in, it just means we need to be realistic about what we can actually accomplish in a day, week, month, and year.
As I mentioned my relationship number is a 4, I’d love it to be an 7 or 8. But right now my family, health, and career goals are more important to me. I am trying to be more deliberate about scheduling fun activities with my friends, but they still aren’t my primary focus. I’m just as likely to spend spare time working on my business or hanging out with my husband, than grabbing a coffee with a friend.
Be comfortable not needing perfect 10’s in all these categories. As a Recovering Type A this can be SO difficult. But the reality is we have limits to what we can focus on at any given time. Most of us don’t have unlimited free time and there is no way to keep this entire life we have in balance all the time.
Take Action
Once you’ve analyzed an area or two you’d like to focus on for the next few months. Come up with a plan for deliberate steps you can take to improve it.
For my relationship domain, I made a commitment to schedule at least 2 events with friends each month. This can mean grabbing dinner, going to get some coffee, doing a short hike, or simply hanging out for a game night. Anything to help my relationships grow.
Decide the one or two practical steps you can take to move yourself forward in a domain. And remember, these don’t have to be dramatic crazy steps. If you want to improve your marriage, schedule a monthly date night. If you want to spend more time with your children, have a game night at the house where no electronics are allowed. If you want to improve your position at work, identify one new skill you need to learn and enroll in a class.
Being intentional is all about taking small daily steps, and maybe a few big leaps now and again, to move you closer to the dream you want to pursue.
Celebrate & Share
One of things that most of us high-achievers forget to do is celebrate the wins. We are always so focused on what’s next that we forget to linger in the moments of accomplishment.
So LINGER!
Take a few minutes to just sit and be proud for the work you’ve done already. Just taking the time to figure out where things aren’t quite in balance is a HUGE step towards a more purposeful life. Be proud of yourself…don’t discount it…yes you…I know you are thinking it really isn’t that big…but trust me it is!
So take a few minutes to think about how far you’ve come on your journey. Give yourself a mini-reward for sticking to the actions you wanted to take in each domain.
Share your progress with your family and friends. Progress is contagious. Sharing the little actions you’re taking can inspire your friends and family to be more deliberate.
Don’t be preachy, because no one likes that, but share some of the strategies you used to make progress in an area.
We like to see our friends and family succeed. The more we all focus on how to show up as the best versions of ourselves the better we’ll be as a community.
REPEAT
Accomplish this assessment every quarter. It’s a great way to stay on track and see how far you’ve come over time. When I started this exercise my numbers weren’t great in some areas. My family, relationships, faith, and fun numbers were actually pretty horrible.
But by acknowledging that and realizing that those domains matched my core values, I started taking action to improve my numbers.
Remember, it’s okay if a number drops in a domain if the hasn’t been your focus area. We can’t do it ALL, so focus on the domains that bring you the most joy and get you closer to your purpose in life.
If you want help starting your journey, sign up for my FREE 7 day Challenge by clicking the link below.
I’d love to hear what you’re working on.
Share your ideas below or send me an e-mail at hello@eachdaywithpurpose.com
