Who Am I?

As I get closer and closer to my military retirement date, I am starting to notice how stressful the transition out of the service can be.

There is stress around figuring out where to make that permanent home after the military is done telling you where to go.

There is the never ending confusion on how to apply for “real jobs” and then constant discussions and bantering around if going civil service or contractor makes the most sense.

And of course there is the never ending maze of trying to figure out how in the heck to translate military experiences into a civilian resume.

Honestly, all of those things seem really normal. They are the discussions I expected to hear. But no one prepared me for the other side of the military transition.

The scariest thing I’ve seen is the fear and doubt I see when someone says, “I don’t know who I am without the uniform.”

UGH…gut-wrenching!

I know that most of us who serve, particularly for those of us that make it to 20 years of service, we find joy and purpose in being in the military.

We are honored and humbled to be part of the military community. We love the sense of pride we feel when we pull on those combat boots and show up for work. And we absolutely love the fact that we actually stand for the national anthem and know all the words.

But I’m not sure we do a great job in the military of preparing ourselves to end our careers. We spend years following the path towards promotion and success. We know the boxes we need to check, the assignments we need to chase, and the places we need to work to be successful.

We can all rattle off the lists of core values, professional education courses we’ve completed, and the assignments we’ve had.

But what happens when that all comes to an end?

What worries me is that many have made military service their ENTIRE life.

Sacrificing time with family, ignoring friends, and simply giving up on hobbies. Many have created a life that revolves completely around the uniform and when it’s time to hang up the uniform for the last time, they are overwhelmed, depressed, and doubtful that they still have value.

Maybe you can relate, even if you aren’t in the service.

So I want to ask you, what makes you…you?

I want to challenge you to think about your life as a whole, not just as part of what you do or how you “make a living.”

I truly believe when we make the mistake of making one part of our identity more important than any other we run the risk of losing ourselves if that part ends for any reason (happy or sad).

If you have only ever been proud of being a wife, and the marriage ends, who are you?

If you have only ever been proud of being a mom, and the kids grow up and move out, who are you?

If you have only ever been a successful business woman, and the company goes out of business, who are you?

If you have only ever been proud of your military service, and you retire, who are you?

Maybe you are realizing you do define your value in a limited arena, maybe it’s time to look a little broader.

Here’s what I can say,

Yes, I’m a Colonel in the United States Air Force (and I’m proud of that accomplishment), but I’m also a believer, a wife, a step-mom, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a great-aunt.

I’m a triathlete, a runner, a swimmer, and an AVID napper.

I’m a former Tiny House dweller, ballroom dancer, entrepreneur, teacher and coach.

I’m an entrepreneur and life-long learner.

I can’t be boiled down to JUST one thing (and neither can you!)

I am SO thankful that I’ve always had more than my duty title and rank.

Yes, I worked hard for my military career and I “checked some boxes” to get where I am, but I also never lost sight of the fact that it wasn’t ALL of me.

I know when I get ready to transition out over the next few years it will be an easier move for me than for many.

Sure, I’ll miss serving and the simplicity of always knowing what I’m going to wear when I wake up! But it won’t feel like my life is ending when I retire and for that I’m incredibly thankful.

Slow down for a few minutes today and think about all of the unique things you bring to this world.

Don’t get caught in the trap of only using one label to describe yourself.

I have no doubts, that you bring TONS of awesomeness to those around you in all of your roles, hobbies, and labels.

Be proud of all of your different interests, experiences, and responsibilities. You are UNIQUELY you, and you aren’t just your rank and duty title!